Is it possible to divorce without a lawyer

This was one of the many issues that tore us apart, the inequity in our domestic responsibilities. My smugness was gone. I longed for a lawyer. The only way this custody hearing would work without representation is if we presented a united front. He asked us to meet in his private chambers with his clerk, who would help us draft a temporary agreement.

But for now—down came the gavel—our hearing was over. I cried in those private chambers. My great experiment in self-representation felt as if it had failed. Our new hearing was scheduled for three weeks later, exactly one week after I was scheduled to have major surgery to remove my cervix.

I begged my ex, with the clerk sitting between us, to just keep the arrangement we had in place. He refused. The clerk, a woman, reached out and squeezed my hand. Fearing losing momentum, I said yes to the new court date and agreed to a temporary order of custody, acquiescing to everything my still-husband now wanted until a permanent agreement could be reached.

Of all the reasons I kept putting off divorce for years, this was by far the most heartbreaking: the pain of a young child caught in its cogs. Then, the next morning, a miracle. Of course it could, I said. I showed up in family court three weeks later, fresh from having my cervix yanked.

The rest of the pro se proceedings went fairly smoothly, after I lost several weeks to further complications from the surgery, when the stitches holding me together came undone.

I bled out, which required a second emergency surgery three weeks after the first. Child-support payments were decided in a single hearing in family court by a support magistrate , who is not a judge but who has legal authority to decide issues of child support. Would a lawyer have argued for more support money on my behalf? Friends afterward told me I was cheating myself and my kids, going it alone.

But though a lawyer might have been able to increase my child-support payments by a small fraction, our combined income back then was modest and finite. Would that tiny margin of more support really outweigh the cost of the legal fees it took to achieve?

Either one spouse will have to buy out the other, or the home will have to be sold so that the proceeds can be split evenly. I understand why many of my divorced friends wanted to keep the family home, so the kids could have some stability amidst the chaos.

In fact, a clean slate felt better, liberating. When the child-support hearing was over, my ex and I reached across the aisle and spontaneously hugged. The judge smiled. At the end of December , I finally had what I thought were all the signed papers, rulings, and affidavits in hand.

Or was it steps? I panicked. Felt paralyzed once more. The handout at the courthouse listed 20 documents I needed to file to be done with my divorce, in a specific order, and looking over that list, I had no idea what most of them were. I emailed Delruelle and apologized for bothering her again, but I needed help navigating the final leg of this journey.

With knee surgery for a torn meniscus scheduled days later, I begged him: Please, I was heading into another six-to-eight-week recovery. I really wanted to file the final papers prior. Sorry, he said. It could not be helped. Halfway up the stairs, I started to laugh. It all felt too symbolically on point, the lady on crutches struggling up the stairs, the massive Corinthian colonnade of justice, the inscription carved into granite: The True Administration of Justice is the Firmest Pillar of Good Government.

Yes , I thought. All couples should have access to a legal expert who can help them through a divorce, step by step, as well as fair judges, such as the ones we were lucky enough to get, to dispense justice.

But maybe the true administration of justice is, at a minimum, an ability for two people to amicably get divorced without breaking the bank or going to war. Nice job! Phone Number. Briefly Describe Your Enquiry. Justice Family Lawyers Sydney. How To Get A Divorce? How to get a divorce in Australia if married overseas? What are the best interests of the child?

What is equal shared parental responsibility in Australia? Sole Parental Responsibility Denying access to a child in Australia Can one parent stop another from seeing their child?

Is everything split 50 50 in a divorce? As a rule, once the divorce papers have been filed, one or both parties move out of their shared home. Like most rules, however, this one has its exceptions. Some divorcing couples are on good enough terms to remain in the same home together, although they may no longer share a bedroom or mealtimes.

This not only cuts down the burden of an extra rent payment on your still-shared finances, but it is also a good way to preserve your claim to the residence if the court assigns it to one of you. Generally, the party who moves out has forfeited the right to live in the house, if not the equity, and you have to decide if that's the way you're willing to go.

Read more on the idea of nesting here. Even an amicable divorce imposes costs on the children, and if you and your spouse have kids, that has to be a factor in your deliberations. Before you settle on divorce, it's in your and your kids' best interest that you work out where the children will live, whether they will have to move, and get a reasonable picture of your ideal visitation schedule.

Much of the talking you and your soon-to-be ex have to do during this difficult time will revolve around the kids, and there's almost never a downside to keeping things as stable and normal for them as you can. Property division is the heart of any divorce, even a DIY divorce with no significant assets.

No matter what, somebody is leaving this marriage with the car, and maybe somebody else is getting the frequent flier miles. However much or little you own together, some equitable division has to be worked out, and you'll do best if you give this some thought before the split.

If there is anything in particular that you simply cannot do without, such as your grandfather's desk chair or the wedding china, think about what other things you're prepared to give up to keep it. You won't get everything in the split, so prioritize the important stuff before you file.

Consider reading a related topic on splitting your finances and investments during a divorce. Many people overlook the role outside support plays in helping them through the divorce process. A strong support network of friends and family can lift you up emotionally when you need it, while a lack of those important people can do the reverse.

Laura Wasser has seen this firsthand, and she is committed to becoming part of people's support network with online tools, advice, articles, and words of encouragement to help you make divorce without a lawyer work for you.